When Stupid Meets Bear Spray: Just Another Life Lesson

Descending toward Henderson Road. Before the "incident."

Most shortish bike rides, especially on familiar routes, don’t deserve a blog post, but when you do something really stupid? Well, that changes the formula.

Corrine, Nikki, and I decided to bike the Mine Loop this past Sunday. The loop is an informal fatbiking route that starts and ends in the vicinity of Goldstream Sports and takes you past the old Ryan Lode Mine. It has several variation possibilities, but the ones I know always include the trail along the Intertie, the mine, Henderson Road, and Happy Ridge Trail. 

Nikki coming onto the Intertie with Corrine in the background.

We took off about noon, having waited until the day warmed a bit. The trails were nice, if a bit soft in places. The squirrelly snow made some things challenging. While trying not to walk or tripod (two wheels, one foot) on one steep descent, I crashed, doing a full head plant into the snow. When I caught up to Corrine and Nikki on Henderson they pointed out that all my helmet vents were totally packed with snow. I took my helmet off and banged the snow out of it. A little stupid is a good thing when you’re out having fun! 

The soft snow meant steeper hills required some pushing. 

But a lot of stupid? Not so much.

We climbed Henderson and got to the “end of road maintenance” area. Two dogs from a nearby house came out to bark at us. Not a big deal. I’ve seen those dogs before. I stopped and gave them the evil eye. They backed off. When I started biking they kept coming, getting too close for comfort. I stopped and told them to leave. They backed off. I got on my bike. They came at me again, within lunging distance. 

I don’t like being harassed on public rights-of-way by dogs. It’s annoying, but I try not to get too irrational about it. I figure the chances of getting bitten are very low, but the consequences can be pretty high: End of that ride, loss of future exercise time, the hassle of tracking down the owners to make sure the dogs have rabies shots. Oh, and the pain.

More pushing at the mine. David F. was also out for a ride, but he took a "smarter" route to the top.
(And, yes, I'm putting this in to delay coming to the "incident.")

So, I pulled out my bear spray. I carry it in winter for moose and dogs. I’ve never had a chance to use it on moose, but I’ve used it on dogs a few times. It works great. The dogs sneeze, shake their heads, and wander off, leaving me alone. The day wasn’t windy, and I was slightly uphill. I decided to put a cloud between me and the dogs so that I could continue unmolested. 

It worked great, sort of. The sight and sound of the spray sent the dogs running. I felt slightly smug – for about a half-second. That’s when I noticed the cloud was coming back at me. Apparently, there can be air movement even when there’s no perceptible wind. Who knew?!

I was too surprised to do something smart like close my eyes and turn my head. I just stood there and got a face full of bear spray. 

(In retrospect, I should have sprayed down instead of straight out. In fact, that’s what you’re supposed to do with bears. That would have helped a lot. But what good would the story have been then?)

Better times. Me out biking with beautiful women. Before I did the stupid thing. 

Here’s where things get interesting. The spray stung, but I was able to put the bottle back in my feed bag and continue pedaling up the unmaintained part of Henderson Road. In short order, I could see fine. My eyes and face stung just a little, but not horrible. I figured I had just gotten a little dose and was fine. 

Corrine and Nikki had waited for me at the entrance to Happy Ridge Trail. I stopped and told them what I had done. They shook their heads a bit but didn’t make too much fun of me. (A different response than if I had been out with a bunch of guys, I’m sure.) But I noticed that as soon as I stopped, the stinging got worse. I figured the spray molecules were still on me and my clothes, doing what molecules do above 0 degrees Kelvin– move around. Some must have been creating a small invisible cloud around me. As soon as we started moving I was fine. 

Until I wasn’t. For a while things went OK. Then we stopped to regroup. While waiting, my eyes started stinging again, so I washed my face with snow. I kind of knew I wasn’t supposed to do that, but it was damned irritating! The snow didn’t seem to make a big difference right away, but it was a mistake. As soon as we started again, going down a gentle grade, my eyes started stinging badly. I’m not exactly sure what happened. Maybe I disturbed a bunch more spray molecules. 

I had to slow down. I pulled over and let the other two go ahead. I limped along for a while, opening my eyes for brief glimpses of the trail. That worked OK, until I hit an open sunny spot. Ouch! That’s when I discovered my eyes were now really light sensitive. Dilated pupils, I guess. Fortunately, that section was brief. I was able to continue, and my eyes seemed to mostly clear up again. It was a problem only when I stopped. 

Do I need to remind you that there were good times on this ride before the "incident"?
Me out riding on the Intertie trail with beautiful women. 

We finally got out to St. Patrick Road, where I figured I would be good because I could keep moving.  I kept going but slowed a bit to let Corrine and Nikki catch up. Suddenly, my eyes started really bugging me. Not sure what happened. It wasn’t really sunny on the road. Maybe there was a very slight breeze at my back that helped keep that invisible cloud near my face. Whatever the case, I could again open my eyes for only brief glimpses, so I biked slowly. 

After a couple of minutes, my eyes got better. I picked up speed and they got even better. I caught up to Corrine and Nikki. 

“I need to keep up a certain speed to keep my eyes clear!” I yelled as I passed them. 

I kept going all the way to the pullout near Ann’s Greenhouse, where we had parked. I was fine when I stopped, but only for a minute or two. Then I was back to opening my eyes for brief glimpses. 

Me, showing off the wisdom of my ways! 

When we got home I immediately peeled off my clothes, which were destined for the washer. I took a shower, rinsing my eyes out and washing my face and hair several times. I was mostly fine after that, though later that evening I noticed my eyes stinging a bit when I had my reading glasses on. It must be that glasses help restrict air flow. That, and the fact that those red pepper oil molecules are tenacious little SOBs. 

I actually learned that once a few years back. I accidently set off my bear spray while on a summer mountain bike ride. Fortunately, the wind blew it away, but I did get some on my gloves. I didn’t notice that until I wiped my eyes with my gloved hand. Yeow! 

When I got home I washed the gloves with soap and water, and then let them soak in water overnight. I did a couple more rides with them. No problem. So, all was good…until it wasn’t. A couple of weeks later Corrine and I were on a bikepacking trip in Montana. In the middle of a long climb in the rain up a forestry road, I noticed my eyes were starting to burn. I couldn’t figure it out until I remembered the bear spray incident. I was using the same gloves and I had wiped at my eyes a few times. I took off my glasses and was fine. They just needed that little bit of air movement. 

I’m still a big proponent of bear spray for use on dangerous or bothersome dogs. It’s a great tool if used properly. And there’s nothing like experience to learn what “properly” means. I figure I will eventually figure it out, but I’ll probably have to spray myself a couple more times.