Life is Short

 post by Corrine

“I feel that as I’m getting older, it’s harder to get outside of my comfort zone. I used to just take off on adventures and wing it, but now I plan and worry more.”

Ryan told me this as we were having Mexican food together in Boulder, Colorado. Ryan Van Duzer is a YouTuber who encourages people to get outside. He goes on many bikepacking adventures, which is how I found him online. I started following him and became a Patreon of his. I finally met him in person in 2023 at RAGBRAI (Register's Annual Great Bicycle Ride Across Iowa). I had lunch with him on a recent trip to Boulder, where he lives.

Photo with Ryan on a cold, snowy Boulder day

Ryan was talking to me about a 250-mile running race that he was going to do in early May. He has done several 100-mile running races, but this was a big step up. His comment about getting outside the comfort zone resonated with me. It’s exactly how I’ve been feeling this past year. I still want to push myself but it’s getting harder. It was validating to hear Ryan say the same thing, especially since he is 20 years younger. We both decided that as we get older, we should push outside our comfort zones even if it is harder to do. Life is short, we should savor new experiences and keep having them. 

“Life is short” is a refrain I kept thinking about on my recent trip to Colorado.

I headed to Colorado in mid-April to see my friend, Betsy, who was diagnosed with an aggressive glioblastoma (brain tumor) 18 months ago. She had treatment with surgery, radiation, and chemotherapy, but a couple of months ago the tumor came back with a vengeance. We have no idea how much time she has left, and I wanted a chance to see her one more time. So, I booked a ticket to Colorado as soon as I could.

Betsy two years ago when she came up to do a fat bike trip in the White Mountains

Life is not just short; sometimes it’s not fair. Betsy is only 46, married with two young children. She was always going off on adventures, from bikepacking to climbing, snowboarding, packrafting, and surfing. I am amazed at how many adventures she has already had in her 46 years. But this tumor has drastically changed her life, stealing from her many of the activities she used to love.

A few days before she was diagnosed, she had done the hardest rock climb of her life. But now her vision and balance are poor. Her strength has diminished. And she is fatigued a lot of the time. Life can change on a dime at any time. I’ve seen this many times as a doctor. One day a patient is fine and then the next day, due to illness or an accident, their life is vastly different. Then they must change expectations and goals. It can be incredibly hard.

Betsy's body is giving out but her spirit is strong- Steroids have caused puffiness

Betsy has had to do this over and over for the past year-and-a-half. First, she couldn’t climb any more. Then it was harder to bike. Now some days she barely has energy to get out of bed. Yet, she still has her adventurous spirit, and she still pushes her limits as she can. In the past, we might have taken off for an overnight mega bike trip. She can’t do that anymore, but she can still have fun, smaller adventures. And we did. While I was there, we went for a walk, did a weightlifting session, attended her daughter’s art exhibit and went out for dinner. And binge watched a new show on Netflix. 

Pizza dinner with Betsy and her family

On my trip, I also spent time with friends, Jill and Beat, who live in the hills above Boulder. They recently bought a home in France and will soon be spending most of their time there. I was glad to visit them again before they move, and get in a bike ride with Jill. Although they still plan to visit us in Alaska, you never know. Beat is not an American citizen. Will he be allowed back if he leaves? Most likely but who knows given the current political situation? Life is short. It’s important to spend time with the people we care about. 

Always good to spend time with Jill and Beat

I brought my gravel bike to Colorado so I could get in some longer training rides. It was great to bike in warmer temperatures and feel the sun after the long Fairbanks winter. And to see green grass and flowers blooming. And the biking infrastructure in Boulder is amazing. So many bike paths. So many people out on bikes. So easy to bike around town and the surrounding area. But the altitude kicked my butt. Boulder is at 5400 feet. Jill and Beat live at the top of Flagstaff Road at 7200 feet. Any ride from their house involves a lot of climbing just to get back home! Good for training but exhausting. I ended up driving to the start of one of my rides (after seeing Betsy) just so I didn’t have to do the 1800-foot climb again! 

While in Boulder I also met with Chad of Corvid Cycles who makes custom titanium bikes. A friend in Fairbanks had bought one of his bikes and let me try it out last summer. I was sold. I’ve been thinking about a new hardtail mountain bike for bikepack adventures for about three years and I was finally ready to order one. It will cost a pretty penny, but I reminded myself that life is short. If a new bike makes my life more enjoyable, I should buy one. Plus, I ride my bikes a lot. My current mountain bike is over 12 years old with more than 40,000 miles on it. And this one would have a Pinion Gates belt drive. Goodbye to derailleurs and chain lube! I was glad to have the chance to meet Chad in person to discuss specifics. My new bike won’t be ready until fall, but that’s okay as I’ll be gone most of the summer on my Trans Am Bike Nonstop US adventure. 

Corvid Cycles Sojourner bike that I just ordered

I’ve been questioning my decision to do this race. I’m getting anxious and worrying about all the details. While Ryan told me his worries of his upcoming 250-mile running race, I told him about my worries of the Trans Am. Am I too old to do it? Will my body hold up? Am I in good enough shape? Will I be able to climb the hills with the gearing on my bike? Can I meet my goals? Can I deal with any mechanicals? Like Ryan, I feel like I’m stressing more about challenges like this as I get older.

I stressed about these same things when I was younger, but it feels different now. I’ve had many older patients who start to worry more as they age. I’ve always wondered why. They’ve lived through many difficult challenges and have had long vibrant lives. They’ve made it through all the hard times. They shouldn’t be worrying more now. Yet they do. And now I feel like I’m starting to do the same thing. Is it that my mortality is staring me in the face? The end of my life is closer than it was twenty years ago. When I was younger, I didn’t think much about how long I had left to live. But now there’s less of life ahead than there is behind. Who knows. Are we all scared, at least a little, about growing old and having our lives change?

Or maybe it’s because I know what can go wrong, and I feel less equipped to deal with adversity when it comes my way. But that makes no sense either. I’ve overcome adversity in the past, why wouldn’t I be able to do it now? Maybe I keep trying to do hard things because it helps build resilience for the unknown adversities in my future. I may not be ready, and I may not have all the answers, but I can keep moving forward. Is that it? So many questions and no clear answers. Why do I keep doing going outside my comfort zone and causing myself this stress? 

In the end, I guess I do it because life IS short. If I don’t do these hard things now, I might never do them. I’m not quite ready to give up pushing myself. And I don’t want to have regrets that I didn’t at least try while I still could. Life WILL change and even though I will still be able to push my limits in the future, those limits will be different. My comfort zone will get smaller.

It scary to think about this, but it’s going to happen one day whether I like it or not. All I can do is keep moving forward and pushing on. Like Betsy, I should try to live every day to the fullest that I can. And because “life is short”, when June 1 arrives, I’ll get on my bike and start pedaling east and just figure it out as I go. 

Another Year Older

 

Post by Corrine

“Get up NOW!”

I woke out of a deep sleep when Nikki yelled from the open cabin door.  Erica and I immediately jumped out of our warm sleeping bags, tossed on our jackets, and followed Nikki outside. We assumed her rude awakening was due to the lights. We had made a pact to wake each other up if the aurora was spectacular.

And! It! Was! 

All aurora photos are from Erica and Nikki as their phones took better night photos than my older phone

The sky all around Crowberry Cabin was lit up with auroras. The display kept going and going. We kept ducking back inside to warm up only to quickly head back out so as not to miss any of the show. We stayed outside for close to an hour watching in awe while trying to get photos to capture the auroral display. What a perfect end to my birthday!

Another Birthday

Another March, another year older. I don’t think that much about birthdays or generally worry about getting older or slower (although I am). Mostly I find them a good excuse to plan something fun. When I looked at the calendar, I realized my birthday was the day before the White Mountains 100, a multisport 100-mile race that makes a loop around the White Mountains just north of Fairbanks. Although my days of racing it are over (I skied it twice and biked it once), I still love this race. Two years ago, I rode the course backwards with Eric and two friends, over several days.  We took pictures of all the racers as they went by us. This year I thought I could just plan an overnight but still get photos of all the racers. That would be a fun way to spend a birthday. I checked online and Crowberry Cabin (25 miles into the race) was available the night before the race started. Perfect. 

Crowberry Cabin

Eric wasn’t interested in coming. And even I wasn’t sure if I would have the energy to do another overnight trip since I had another multi-day cabin trip planned earlier in the week. But, heck, I am training for a month-long bike race this summer and doing back-to-back trips would be good training. So, I booked the cabin and hoped for good weather. I decided to ask a couple of women bike friends if they wanted to join me. I told them I would be slow, but they said they didn’t care. Husbands were invited, too, but none could come, which was okay. It would be fun to have a girl’s only weekend.

Erica and Nikki join me for a girl's weekend

My Birthday Could Not Have Been Better

As my birthday got closer, Mother Nature gave me the perfect birthday present with phenomenal conditions. Sunny with highs in the lower 30s and minimal wind. I couldn’t have wished for a better forecast. In fact, most of March had had amazing weather. And I knew the trails were quite good from my previous trip, so it was looking like a great birthday weekend.

Erica, Nikki, and I met up at the trailhead Saturday morning around 11 AM. Erica and Nikki immediately surged ahead on the first mile-long uphill. 

“Told you I would be slow,” I muttered to myself as they disappeared up the trail. Oh well, they are both quite a bit younger than me and I am another year older. It was too nice of a day to be grumpy. They could either wait or just go ahead and meet me at the cabin. I was fine with either. 

Erica and Nikki wait for me before we start the Moose Connector 

We decided to take the long way to Crowberry Cabin by heading down the Wickersham Creek Trail and then taking the Moose Connector over to Trail Creek Trail, adding about 4 miles to our day for a total of 29 miles. Erica had never been on the connector trail, and it was in the best shape I have ever seen it. No overflow, no wind drifts, good riding the whole way. 

Great biking on the Moose Connector Trail

Erica and Nikki waited for me at the Moose Creek Cabin, where the trail got a lot softer due to warmer afternoon temperatures and a large group of snowmachiners going by. Once again, I was left in the dust as we pedaled the last nine miles to the cabin. I was slow but steady and it was such a beautiful day, I didn’t care.

The trail was a little softer after Moose Creek Cabin but the views were outstanding

Once at the cabin, we were happy to see there was plenty of firewood but were dismayed to find no pots for melting water. There are always a few pots around the cabins. Somebody must have taken them. Luckily, Erica had included a larger collapsible pot that we could use, as we had otherwise just brought small 1-liter pots with us. It would take a long time to melt enough snow with those.

While Erica melted snow, Nikki and I got more firewood to replace what we would use. It was so nice to be out in the sun in just our long john shirts sawing dead tree trunks. Soon all the chores were done, and we were ready to make our freeze-dried dinners. 

Eating dinner at the cabin

Then Erica pulled out a large plastic container holding a huge piece of cake to celebrate my birthday. She carried it the whole way on her bike, and it didn’t even get smushed! She and Nikki offered to sing “Happy Birthday.” But they both said they couldn’t sing, so I didn’t push for it! The piece of cake was large enough for all three of us to share. It was an unexpected birthday surprise and made my day feel even more special than it had been. This was my second surprise cake this month! On our recent trip on the Denali Highway, Nikki and another friend Erica ordered one from Tangle Lakes Lodge for my retirement. I could get used to having cake on all winter trips!

Yum!  Birthday cake.  I can't believe that Erica carried in on her bike all day.

As the sun was setting, we went for a short walk back up the trail. It was a beautiful evening. Crowberry Cabin is in a stunning location with expansive views of the mountains. Watching the sun set was another high point of my day. 

Watching the sunset

We were tired and so were snug in our sleeping bags with lights out by 9 PM. Luckily, Nikki had drunk a lot of tea that evening and had to go pee a couple of hours later. She walked outside and looked up thinking the stars were quite nice. But then she turned toward the outhouse and saw the sky was exploding with auroras. That’s when she threw open the cabin door and yelled at us.

That aurora display was one of the more spectacular light shows that any of us had seen in a long time. And it lasted forever. 

We finally settled back into bed. The aurora were out again when I had to get up at 2 AM to pee and again at 3 AM when Nikki got up. But they weren’t quite as spectacular as earlier in the evening, so we let each other sleep. I was surprised the auroras were so spectacular as the forecast was for low activity with a Kp index of 2. We hoped it would be as good the next night for the WM100 racers who would be out on the course after dark. 

My birthday had been filled with many surprising moments, more than I could have imagined. What a fantastic day!

The White Mountains 100 Race

We weren’t in a big rush the next morning but were up and ready to leave at 9 AM. I had told Nikki and Erica to just go ahead as I planned to take photos of all the racers, which would mean a lot of stopping. The race started at 8 AM so I figured I would start seeing the racers at about 10. And I did. As I started up the last long uphill before Moose Creek Cabin, the lead bikers came bombing downhill. I stopped and quickly took a couple of photos before recognizing one of them, Curtis, as he said hi while whizzing by. 

Curtis and Conner in the lead. Curtis went on to win the race in 8 hours 40 minutes.

When my friend, Ben, came biking towards me a few minutes later, he stopped his bike and started rummaging in his bag. I thought it was a weird place for him to stop - on a steeper downhill - but maybe he needed a snack? Then he handed me a small container of Haagen Daas ice cream. And then a card. And then he pulled out a plastic container with a cupcake. And put a candle in it. And pulled out his lighter to light the candle. Ben is a man of few words, so I had to figure out on my own that this was a birthday celebration! 

Ben stops to make my birthday special while racing!  He went on to finish the race in 14 hours 32 minutes.

I started laughing and told him he needed to get going, this is a race! He shouldn’t be stopping to wish me a happy birthday. Or carrying all this extra weight. He didn’t say anything, just gave me a look and kept trying to light the candle. We finally decided it wasn’t worth lighting (there was a slight breeze that kept blowing it out). I had him take my picture and then I sent him on his way. Just another fun and surprising birthday moment in this amazing weekend. 

A little while later, I decided I needed to put the ice cream in a spot where it wouldn’t melt with the sun beating down, but I couldn’t find it anywhere. Twice I emptied my entire pack but still couldn’t find it. Dang, it must have fallen out. I was so disappointed, but I hoped that one of the racers would find the treat and enjoy it. And I still had my cupcake and card!

For the next hour-and-a-half, the racers continued to pass me. I had fun stopping and cheering and taking photographs of each one. They were all in good spirits. It was a gorgeous day, and the trail conditions were excellent for biking, skiing, and running. Plus, it was still early in the race, too. I was happy to see them out there and had no FOMO about not doing the race myself. 

Shalane smashed her own women's ski record by an hour. She finished in 11 hours 43 minutes!

Jamie did the race with his son, Liam.  Liam at age 12 is the youngest racer ever to finish!

Beat having fun on the trail! He finished on foot in 30 hours 28 minutes.

Another Year Older and Still Having Fun

After passing the last racer, I continued to bike to the trailhead passing lots of other people out biking, skiing, hiking, and mushing, all enjoying the wonderful spring weather. I may be getting older -- though not quite over the hill -- and I may be getting slower, and maybe I can’t quite keep up with some of my younger friends anymore, but I can still have a lot of fun. This weekend definitely proved that!

Thanks to Erica and Nikki for sharing my birthday weekend with me!

The Year of Skiing Classically

Post by Eric 

When I entered the White Bear Trail for the second time, I heard the snowmachine. I hadn’t heard that sound in a ski race in a long time. It’s the trail sweep. You know because after you pass places that have race flagging, you can hear the snowmachine stop to pick up the flags. 

I was in last place in the Sonot Kkaazoot. Legitimately! I was trying hard, but everyone else had either left me in the snow dust or dropped out. I’m not that fast and the fact that I was skiing classic-style slowed me down even more. But I knew if I finished, I would get the Red Lantern. I grinned. I’ve won a lot of Red Lanterns. I’m proud of every single one! Entered, competed, finished! 

Still, I felt a bit bad for keeping the volunteers out there waiting for me. I thanked them all. I even thanked the trail sweep for keeping me company. (I later found out I was 45 minutes behind the last person. Uff da! That’s a lot of waiting!)

Finally, I got to the Stadium at Birch Hill Recreation Area. I found some energy and double-poled hard across the finish line, hoping I looked good! It felt so nice to finish! Really finish! The Sonot was the cap to my season of classic skiing. 

Finally finished! Photo by Kristen Rozell

Why Classic Only? Birkie, Biking, and the TRC

I didn’t skate ski once this winter. Unlike Corrine, I do skate ski. But this winter I knew I had to focus on classic skiing for several reasons. 

The Birkebeiner: We decided early on to try the American Birkebeiner ski race one more time as a family trip. We bailed three other times due to a variety of reasons. But you must choose in early December whether you will classic or skate the Birkie, which is held in late February. I can classic ski in almost any conditions, less so with skating. And I knew I’d be classic skiing the TRC, so that was an easy choice.

Finishing the Birkie.

Biking: I knew I would be biking more this winter, so that meant less skiing. I’m now president of the Fairbanks Cycle Club. We have been trying to do more winter group fatbike rides. Others were excited to help. I wanted to help, too. I love winter biking as much as I love skiing. (And snowshoe running.) And Corrine and I usually do a few cabin trips in the White Mountains National Recreation Area. But we prefer biking because unless the trails are soft, biking is faster and easier to carry camping gear. So, less skiing meant I had to make my ski outings count.

FCC Sundays on Snow outing at Tanana Lakes Recreation Area

On one of our White Mountains NRA cabin trips this winter. Photo by Corrine.

TRC: I planned to race the Tanana River Challenge 25-miler on skis. I am on quest to do all disciplines that I can do in the three local winter endurance races: Tanana River Challenge (TRC), Chena River to Ridge (CR2R), and White Mountains 100 (WM100). They all have skiing, biking, and running divisions. The TRC and CR2R have two distances. I’ve done all disciplines in the WM100. I have skied and biked both distances (26 and 55 miles) of the CR2R and run the 26. (I’m too slow to run the 55.) I’ve biked and run the TRC 25 and skied the 45. (I’m too slow to run the 45 and I don’t skijor – another discipline of the TRC.) So, at the start of winter I just needed to bike the 45 and ski the 25 of the TRC. With all the other skiing I was doing, it was easy to pick skiing the 25. And since I don’t have the equipment or training for trail skate skiing, I knew I would classic ski that one, too. 

Finishing the CR2R 26-miler in 2022.

Everything was pointing to classic skiing, so that’s all I did. 

The Races

With all that focus and strategic training, how did my season go? 

American Birkebeiner – 55 kilometers (32.9 miles)

I’ve already written about my race in another blog post, so I won’t write much here. I had a good time, despite it being way too crowded for me. And I sure did like skiing to the finish line to the roar of a huge crowd despite being way back in the pack, hours behind the finishers. That felt pretty darn special. I don’t have any plans to go back, but I’m glad I did it once. 

At the start of the Birkie. I was in Wave 5.

Tanana River Challenge – 25 miles (40 kilometers)

What a core workout! A lot of this race is on the Tanana River, which is flat, flat, flat. Conditions were hard and fast, with just enough snow to make the skiing good. I had been doing a lot of double-poling this season, so I was prepared. I made good time, ahead of some slower skiers and behind the faster ones. My double-poling allowed me to just outpace a woman runner I didn’t know. If I stopped or slowed down, she would catch right up, so she was a good motivator. 

After about 7 miles of river, we hit the first aid station, where the route heads into the hills of the Tanana Valley State Forest. I stopped for a bit of refueling. The woman runner didn’t stay as long and disappeared into the trees. A couple of other runners also caught and passed me here. 

Heading into the hills changed the dynamics. Runners would pass me on the uphills, and I would zip by them on the downhills, whooping and making them jealous at all the fun I was having. I went back and forth with several for a while. Eventually, the course was mostly downhill, and I outpaced them. 

This race was quite different than the Birkie. I was by myself for short stretches (never in the Birkie), but mostly there were people around, many that I know (again, never in the Birkie). I enjoyed the mix of solitude and camaraderie. 

I loved meeting my friend Jane on the TRC. She was running it.

I finished the hills and looped back to the aid station and the river. Now I had to do the same 7-mile stretch in the other direction. I wondered how much my body would want to double-pole after nearly 20 miles of skiing. 

Not as much! Still, by pacing my double-poling with some kick and glide, I was able to make pretty good time. On the river I saw a tiny speck ahead of me. A runner. Eventually, I could see I was catching up. It was a goal worth chasing, but I also needed to not blow up my body. 

Eventually, I caught the runner. It was the same woman that had motivated me on the first part of the race. (I had never met her before, but according to the results she is Stephanie Wright.) She was struggling a bit, so I cheered her on as I passed her. 

But after a bit I heard footsteps coming from behind. I looked back to see Stephanie overtaking me. 

“Did you get a second wind or am I flagging?” I asked. 

“I got a second wind,” she replied. 

She passed me and then I saw that Chris Swingley, who I thought I had left far behind in the hills, was gaining on us. Yikes! I dug deep and found more energy. I passed Stephanie back. “You’ve motivated me!” I told her as I double-poled by her. 

I was really starting to hurt by the time I could see the finish line. But on the river, you can see the finish line for a long way. I had to dig deep and keep it up. I finished just 15 seconds ahead of Stephanie and just one minute ahead of Chris. Sure, we weren’t really competing since we were in different disciplines, but I liked having the motivation at the end. I congratulated them both at the finish line and thanked them for spurring me on. 

Oh, and for the record, my GPS watch told me that I skied 27.6 miles (44 kilometers), so a bit more than the advertised 25! 

Lots of long and flat on the river part of the TRC. Can you see the speck of a runner way out there?

Sonot Kkaazoot – 50 kilometers (31 miles)

At the start of the season, I hadn’t really thought about doing the Sonot 50K. Now that’s it’s all on Birch Hill trails, it’s much harder than it used to be. I did it last year and figured that would be my last. But then I realized I would be all trained up for it. Might as well do it one more time. 

Still, I figured my 65-year-old body might be kind of tired. The month before had been a busy one, physically. Each weekend had included one hard effort:

--February 22: The American Birkebeiner

--March 2: The Skiathon (a 20-kilometer classic race)

--March 8-10: A fatbike ride to Tangle Lakes Lodge (55 miles over three days)

--March 15: The Tanana River Challenge

Corrine and I did the Skiathon, a classic-only race on UAF trails.

So, when I lined up for the Sonot, I didn’t have super-high expectations. But I was hoping to beat my time from last year (5 hours, 24 minutes), when I finished about a half-hour behind Corrine. (I usually beat Corrine at ski races.) I blamed poor training and the skin skis I used. This year I would go with my wax skis. I’d be faster. 

Overall, my race went well. I fell early on a downhill but got up quickly without getting run over. And about 5 K into the race, I felt one of my Achilles tendons pop a bit. I’d had problems with it before. It bothered me on the Birkie, so I shortened my stride. It probably slowed me a little, but I made it through the race. I hoped I could do the same on the Sonot. 

I skied with several other people, but after the 30K racers peeled off, I was on my own. No worries. I like the solitude. 

My skis started to slip, and eventually I rewaxed at the bottom of the Sonot Connector. I was tired, but I made it to the White Bear in good spirits.  I wondered if anyone was behind me. I got my answer when I heard the trail sweep snowmachine.  

While I was super-happy to finish, I checked later and found I was three minutes slower than last year. So, it goes. My skin skis are generally slower overall, but they perform pretty well in warmer conditions and don’t need to be rewaxed. Would I have been faster if I had used my skin skis? Who knows? I don’t think I’m curious enough to try again next year. Besides, I have different goals.

After re-waxing at the bottom of the Sonot Connector. Ready to start a long uphill.

Next Year a Different Focus

Next year I’ll focus on biking. I’ll still ski, but I want to bike the Tanana River Challenge 45-miler to round out that race. And, really, I should bike the Chena River to Ridge 26-miler to make it official. The one time I did that distance on bike, I was signed up for the 55-miler. Corrine and I decided to stop short because a storm was coming. 

Biking the TRC 25-miler in 2019. Photo by Max Kaufman.

Of course, now that I’m thinking about it, I did the White Mountains 100 and the Chena River to Ridge 26-miler on kicksled, but I’ve never done the TRC on kicksled. The 45-mile would be too far, but what about the 25-mile? In two years, I’ll be 67. Will still have it in me? Hmmmm.

At the start of the White Mountains 100. But that was eight years ago!